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im inside my skeleton

by Richard Orofino

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1.
cut me 02:25
i don't wanna go too far away from here but im not alone i think im trying to leave help me let go to the things i said loved the things i said i loved cut me in half when we get back i don't know if you think i'm ready for that put me in a bag i don't need to breathe show me the things you don't want me to see where are my clothes i left them in my dream i never rose im still inside my head help me let go to the things i said loved the things i said i loved
2.
running all day, i always feel the same when your mind is weak you never question pain do you think it's safe to say yes pain, i can barely catch a break say, what do u have left to take something doesn't feel right, it's not black or white these days go fast you have no appetite
3.
happen 02:13
i broke some bones today you didn't say to go you told me to be careful i thought this stuff didn't happen though i told myself to ruin my hope i fought against the wind i felt invincible but you told me to be careful
4.
fruit 01:33
ive already heard those things im told them everyday i think im crying for no reason but im feeling very different from before i went to school i thought everything was cool and now i'm sitting all alone im by myself again nothing makes a difference to me anyway i promise not even a word you say maybe i'm an idiot or maybe i am right but i think sitting in darkness is the best way to find light am i too low to dive deeper or just maybe i will float i don't think im ready for this world so ill hide in my coat
5.
another section of empty bodies in a room let me hang you gently bathed in your perfume let my dry your head now soaked from being alone don’t choke a second longer where did myself go pretty pink and diseased circle round the bed side im never going to leave
6.
until i died 02:18
im going way out by my happy place somewhere i never have to show my face i follow light a sacrifice i’ll have to make another compromise i didn’t wanna leave but after i am gone i’ll never have to face another obstacle i said i wouldn’t lie to myself till i die and another day has gone too fast to catch up now i think im better of under the ground maybe my body is a sacred sound
7.
trust 02:09
what’s that in ur hand falling thru like sand is it the trust that i gave to u is it the trust that i gave to u i know you gotta big plan for me i hope you understand i’m sorry falling right thru your hands cant believe it keeps happening all over again what’s wrong with me what’s wrong with me
8.
I'm never gonna say the words That you want I'm never gonna feel the shame Like you do I'm never gonna stretch my shape To be with you I only need you for a day 'Cause I only want to be your Saturday savior I can be that Saturday savior I will be your Saturday savior I can be that impostor in your bed Wake him up please I'm never gonna make you feel That you're satisfied I'm never gonna feel your pain Like you wish I would I'm never gonna open up More than this I just want to be your I just want to be your I'm never gonna break apart Quite like you I'm never gonna long for life The way you do I'm never gonna push you out 'Cause your not in This will only take a while 'Cause I only want to be your Saturday savior
9.
happy now 02:19
sound all your alarms im running away i'm finding a place where i will hide somewhere real nice ill sleep with the mice your favorite sight i hope you're happy now u got what you want and i will make u proud and i will die real loud sometimes when i drift i struggle to lift the weight off my shoulders hummingbird don't leave you're all that i need stay here please
10.
11.
free like i'm a wildflower pick my roots up from the fire im lost darker the night a better flight, i feel dizzy hold me tight i took too much and i know that i don't belong but it's all ok cause everything's nothing so i might be wrong so wrong been fucking around for 18 years now i forgot what brought me here still waiting to feel feeling that's real a kiss on my spine, that's really sincere i don't mind i wont find anything anyone i don't wanna be alone so i won't be alone okay okay ill let you in im runnin out of water but i've got enough to last awhile for now but i've gotten stronger im feeling very confident in (my) myself truth is i don't think im fine its not that mind i get lost all the time i wont fall behind not this time not this time i swear to god it's fine
12.
i'm used to sitting by myself in the tall grass i would dwell picking blades and passing time all the cool kids run around i pick my shoelace from the ground but i don't mind i feel fine but i'd be okay if this stayed the same if time would stand still for a little while id keep my head held high i would smile and maybe things will just stay this way i've been told that we all get old they're shouting skipball idk how to play i don't need the rules to have fun anyway ill make them up and do it my way im running in circles while they're counting to ten throwing the ball but it doesn't matter when if it don't win at least i've got my friends
13.
did you hear about the storm i hope your okay wherever you are i know you didn't believe that it would affect you and me wherever we are im flooded in up to my shoulders and you're hanging on to old photos of me wherever we were wherever i was im sorry again i replaced all the parts of my home that were taken by the storm from the same store you said it looks just like before but i'm standing on a different floor it's not like before im sorry again
14.
puppy love with myself losing hope lost my health i had a dream i couldn't be seen dreams aren't real but its just what i need when i'm gone i hope nothing's wrong no more problems no thinking at all and when it's done i pray nothing's to come if my soul moves on, there's nowhere to run i cant help breaking apart my doctor said i'm missing some parts i had a dream i was glad to be seen but dreams don't mean a thing to me but im okay with this anyway
15.
murkiness 02:22
hey murkiness will u be my friend? cause i don't ever see you come to an end maybe i'm trapped within your mist you're my favorite even if i hate it maybe i can fake it and poke holes inside of you hey twilight queen can you stay outside? why do you leave, where do u reside ? maybe i'm a fool for thinking you'll stick around and i'll be your favorite and you'll never leave cause we both need each other hey shadow person quit lurking on me cause i never needed or wanted to see your figure in my head so leave me alone just go back to your home i never liked you you make me sad and think silly things that don't make much sense so leave leave leave leave
16.
love it 02:58
i know the game happier when you aren’t the same im not ashamed i’ve always known i'm better off choking im not really sure if i should walk away from you but you love it i feel your pain i’m never okay with being blamed but if you came to me it would be another rain
17.
to b 02:21
did u fall in or did you just jump in i don’t think i believe either of those things i know you wanna be what i would want you to be maybe i’m just a fool i’m fuckin it all up i don’t know what you mean when you say you hate me
18.
19.
sparkle ✨ 01:59
i’m not really sure if i could keep faking my way along it’s starting to hurt just feeling like maybe i’m still just wrong callous in the first place never gonna get to start the race starting to step out of place ah ooh well maybe i’m fine and maybe i’m closing in on that line running down my spine a shivery sparkle it’s red like wine i hate that i don’t know what’s shaking in my pillow a burning i can’t control please
20.
caughtup 02:32
broken arm now i’m stuck makes me say what the fuck it’s getting harder but i’m still here lasting longer i fight back tears i’m feeling better until i’m not it’s gettin me all caught up silver luck bad advice big fat truck hockey pucks
21.
​ falling but never asleep talking fast i cant compete or understand a single thing my brain is turning into dirt wanting everything to come to me so easy breezy pleasey say no moresey slap across my knee cause that’s amusing to me failing but i’m workin hard never get to be inside my shoes maybe they’re too big or small my shoe size doesn’t even matter wanting everything to come to me so easy breezy pleasey say no moresey slap across my knee cause that’s amusing to me baby don’t u see that i am trying but it’s hard and you don’t understand but i still love you i hope you do too
22.
got big black eyes a face that makes u cry don’t need bright lights to lay down by my side i hope live forever i hope you live forever we can live inside my dreams a never ending party something i wish i could see a never ending party you’re soft and kind but u can’t tell the time ur open wide so u don’t have to let me inside i hope you live forever i hope u live forever
23.
24.
mislike 02:44
should have been alone when you called my name from far away from home i know it's important to you dim lights are matching feeling distant from you im on my way home maybe i should walk further along my lonely road away from home i know it's important to you
25.
26.
you wake up to find a hole in your mind it's tearing the inside of your beautiful brain and now you're insane but who's there to blame it's not your fault you care and all but don't point your finger now you're all alone your hands are still cold you aren't the same anymore your life's not a chore i lied on the floor that you put for me to stand on the table was flipped you happened to slip you had to hurt the ones you loved and now i'm away a price that you paid you say i'm better but things back home are not like before no matter how bad you want them to be but it's all your fault you don't care at all you lost all your good parts or maybe you never had any at all you'll just stay the same way that you are you'll never stick me with your disease i'm I'm the floor again on my knees but i know i have to be the one to never think twice about that
27.
28.
lipstick 04:00
hope i can change your mind maybe i cant but at least i should try the tide soon will rise but my shoes untied i can't find time so ill stay for the ride my money's no good up here heaven's not what i was taught it would be and god isn't real so there's nothing to fear you think he's an old white guy with a beard everyone was wrong about this i put on my lipstick to cover my face i use it with grace then ill slide my skin right on to my body so i feel at home i zip up the back and walk out the door and ill fit right in my head isn't on quite right maybe if i take it off ill feel nice and happier that i don't have to think about where i ended up being
29.
take me 03:07
i don't know what's in my lungs i think they're filled with love im drowning in you im not sure what runs through me but i think it's happy i think you're in my blood but i don't feel suffocated and i don't think i'm cultivated you make me you take me you let me speak my mind again you hurt me you heal me but it's all worth it in the end i don't think that i could live without you on my mind youre floating in my head i don't miss being alone that's why i call your phone i need you please please
30.
goodbye lord joe

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released April 25, 2018

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Richard Orofino New York, New York

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